A New Tradition

Two years ago on New Year's Eve, we were closing on the home we now live in.  It was the culmination of a very stressful few months beginning with the sale of our home in October, and then moving into a rental in November because we hadn't yet purchased another home.  (When we moved from Florida to Georgia in 2003, our house in Florida was still for sale after nine months on the market.  Two mortgages = OWIE!  Didn't want to do that again!)

In addition to moving and all that it entails, we had been contacted right after we moved into the rental by a local woman who learned that we were trying to adopt.  She was the single parent of two and pregnant with a child that she didn't want to raise.  Would we take her child that was due in February?  We were absolutely elated to do so!  Being that she was local, I was able to go with her to her doctor's appointments and got to know her and her two children quite well.  Tom and I also took her several times into Atlanta to meet with our attorney to get all of the paperwork for the adoption in order.  I had nursed my biological children and had heard of adoptive mothers nursing their adoptive babies, so in the midst of our chaos, I induced lactation following the advice in this book.

It was all very exciting, but very draining too.  Most of our belongings were in storage, we hadn't found a house yet, we had a baby coming very soon, I was on a rigorous pumping schedule (every two hours) and it was Christmas time.  Christmas shopping?  No time!  I was either with the birth mother doing something baby related, or with Tom house hunting.  Christmas tree?  Couldn't find it, so we bought a little Charlie*Brown tree.

I had bought a couple of gifts for the kids earlier in the year when I found things on sale, and that was going to be the extent of our gift giving that year.  Time was moving at warp speed with everything we had going on, and it occurred to Tom and I late in the afternoon a few days before Christmas, that he was leaving on a trip and wouldn't be home until after Christmas.  If we were going to have a Christmas dinner and exchange gifts, it had to happen in the next few hours (being married to a pilot means that you never celebrate anything on the actual day).  There wasn't any way I was going to be able to deliver on the dinner as my whole kitchen was in boxes.  Pizza it was for Christmas dinner!

Kitchen contents in the rental waiting to move to their permanent home!

Following our elegant pizza dinner, I realized that the kids' gifts weren't wrapped and I didn't have any wrapping paper.  So do you know what I did?  I brought the gifts out in the store bags, grabbed a towel, and wrapped each gift in the towel, and tossed it at the child it was to go to.  The kids called it the best Christmas ever!!!!!!!!  We laughed so hard and had so much fun!

This year, we had our Christmas dinner and gift exchange on December 19th due to Tom's schedule.  We always let the kids open one gift the night before our exchange, and this year, they requested that we do it like we did two years ago.  From that crazy busy Christmas of 2009, a new tradition has been born.  They got out our Charlie*Brown tree and I wrapped their gifts in blankets, and now we have a new tradition!

To finish the story, in late November 2009, we found a home on acreage that was in foreclosure.  After jumping through a bazillion hoops and making repairs on a list that was a mile long in order to make our lender happy, we finally closed and spent the month of January moving in.

A few weeks before our birth mom was due to deliver, she and I went on a tour of the hospital.  I met with the lactation consultant at the hospital who was very excited that I wanted to nurse as an adoptive mother.  The birth mom thought it was "neat" that I wanted to do that.  She was very honest and told me that she just wanted the baby out of her and for it to go away because it reminded her of the father whom she loathed.  We went to her 37 week appointment and an induction date of February 10th was set.  

She texted me later that day and told me how happy she was that her baby was going to such a wonderful family.

And then I never heard from her again.  

We learned from a mutual friend several weeks later that she had given birth to a little girl and had placed her with an agency that "reimbursed" birth moms for pregnancy expenses.  Georgia law prohibits that kind of activity, as well as just about every other state in the union, and that's all I'll say on the subject.

 Our new house two days after the baby was born.  

We don't see snow very often, so this was a treat for the kids!

Our hearts were broken, but we trusted that our Creator, our Redeemer, our King, was working His perfect will for His glory and our good.  We trusted Him and pressed forward with hope that He would grant our desire for more children.  I will take this opportunity to thank Deborah at Christian*Adoption for her prayers, her encouragement, and her wise counsel!  She was instrumental in helping us get back in the saddle and move forward.  Our profile went back online and just four months later, Luke's birth mom made contact with us.  Praise the Lord for hearing the prayers of His children and answering them in His perfect time!  That little baby girl was never meant to be ours.  Whatever the Lord's purpose was in putting us in that birth mom's life, it was fulfilled and we have peace in knowing we did what He called us to do.  When our world felt like it was falling apart, the Lord had already begun to knit Luke's being together!  He answered our prayers beyond what we ever could have imagined.  We are filled with an indescribable joy and crazy IN LOVE with LUKE!

The point of this post was to tell you about our new tradition!  I didn't intend to give you so many details about our life two years ago, but after I mentioned them, I didn't want to leave you hanging!

Merry Christmas!

We are praying that the glory of our risen Lord shine upon you!  Merry Christmas to all!

Photo Credit

Happy 18th Birthday Andrew!!!!!!

From a wee babe of 6 lb. 14 oz. 

To a handsome young man of 6 ft.!

Dear Heavenly Father,

My heart is so full of joy in this moment - thank you for choosing me to be Andrew's mom!  He's not just any son - he is MY son, the son that You chose for me before You created the foundations of the world.  As Psalm 139:16 says, you ordained all of his days before a one of them came to be.  I rejoice that they included me, for I have been blessed every day by his sincerity, his humor, his intellect, his friendship and his faith.  He is not perfect Lord, I know, but You have uniquely constructed his being and everything about him to fulfill the purposes for which You have created him.  As he gains new responsibilities and stands on the cusp of launching from our household, I have a few requests that I petition your throne with.

May he daily pray for and receive your wisdom.

May he be humbled by the responsibilities of adulthood as much as he finds joy in the freedom it brings.

May he be a man of integrity and always do the right thing in Your eyes, whether it be popular or not, or cost him little or much.

May he constantly seek biblical knowledge that he may discern what is righteous and good in Your eyes.

May he have the courage to follow through on his convictions, even when he is being scoffed at.

May the words from his mouth be salt and light to a dying world in need of the Gospel of Christ, and may his actions always back those words up. 

May he be a peacemaker and realize that sometimes you just have to agree to disagree.

May he be quick to forgive others when they do wrong and ask his forgiveness, as he is to ask forgiveness when he has done wrong to others.

May he choose a godly woman to be his wife and mother of his children, and cherish her and hold her above all others in his life and above all material things You may choose to bless them with.

May he work hard whether at his vocation that puts food on his family's table, or at play.

Grant, Oh Lord, that he would serve You with a single-minded purpose all of his days, that his love and desire for You increase until he has fulfilled the days that you have appointed to him in this earthly life.  May he stand before You on the last day without shame, proclaiming Christ alone as the Redeemer of his soul.

These things I pray in the name of your Son, Jesus Christ, amen.

Luke's One Year & Family Pics!

This is a post of pictures - lots of them!  The kids have been after me to get all of these posted on the blog, so here they are my sweeties!  I apologize for the copious number, but the purpose of posting them all is so that family can come here and tell me which pictures they want copies of and what size.  

Our friend, Kanella, came to the house to do another photo shoot of Luke, and it was another case of a little boy who really didn't want to have his picture taken.  I told her I was happy if she got just one good shot, and like always, she got more than that!  Thanks Kanella!

I love his pointy finger in this one!  That is my daddy's sled from when he was a little boy behind him.

Luke's favorite book - Goodnight Moon

We met Kanella for a photo shoot at Heritage*Park down the street from us early in November.  It was a chilly, windy day so we weren't sure how they would turn out - but we love them!

Transfer Follow Up

I had my follow-up phone appointment with Dr. K last week.  I really appreciate the personal touch he gives to the whole process, and his genuine expressions of sorrow that our little ones are no longer with us.  He reminded me as some of my sisters in Christ have, to not forget that God's will was accomplished through me and how wonderful it was that Tom and I gave those frozen little lives a chance. 

The rest of our conversation went much like the conversation we had after our first transfer.  From his clinical point of view, everything was perfect, but for whatever reason, the embryos were incapable of continued growth.  He encouraged us to try again a third time because he sees couples all the time who have had two failed transfers, and then gone on to have a successful pregnancy the third transfer.  Honestly, the thoughts of a third transfer are very daunting to Tom and I right now.  For the time being, we are resting with quiet hearts before the Lord and are praying for Him to clearly reveal to us what His will is.

One of the other couples who was also a part of the November transfer cycle wrote a sweet note to every recipient couple letting them know that they were praying for them.  Such a wonderful gesture!  Dr. K jokingly said that they had just raised the bar for all the recipients!  T (the wife's first initial) and I have kept in contact with one another and in her last e-mail to me, she said that she had asked Dr.K what the final numbers were for the November cycle.  (T is braver than I - I thought about asking Dr. K that question, but then decided that I didn't want to know just in case I was the only transfer recipient that didn't maintain a pregnancy!)  Dr. K told her that out of 26 transfers, only 10 got pregnant and maintained the pregnancy.  That made me so sad!  I was expecting a higher number of pregnancies, but after doing some research, such is the nature of frozen embryo transfers.  It was the first transfer for T and her husband, and they were not among the 10 couples who were pregnant.

Thank you again to those of you who left comments expressing your sympathy for our loss, and especially to those of you who reached out to me privately.  Your thoughts and encouragement mean more to me than you can know this side of heaven!

Luke's Birthday Festivities

Here is the birthday boy waiting for his breakfast prior to our departure to the Georgia*Aquarium.

Love those teeth!

The first exhibits we looked at were the touching pools.  Luke wanted so badly to touch the sting rays swimming by, especially when he saw other kids touching them.  I've seen him with our dogs and cats and gentle is not a word that computes yet - sorry buddy! 

This was the first big tank exhibit we came to.  Luke was so excited - he was pounding on the glass and jabbering up a storm!

  Sissy being silly and pretending to be a fish.

Checking out the albino alligator.

So blessed am I to be her mom!

Sarah and I were waving our arms trying to get the otters attention.  They were curled up on a ledge and were not interested in coming down in the water.

I enjoyed being out with my family and occupying my mind with something other than the loss of our babies.  I forgot, however, that there would be pregnant women at the aquarium, so I did have some moments where I choked back some tears. This is Maris, a beluga whale.  As we were standing at the exhibit, a lady came over the loud speaker and announced that they had just discovered that Maris is pregnant and due to deliver in the spring.  Sheesh.  I felt really incompetent at that point.  Even the whale was pregnant.

My NEDC sisters will understand the meaning of this picture and how it affected me when I saw it.  I just couldn't get away from reminders of our transfer and loss!

Checking out the penguins.

Luke was fascinated with all the kids at the aquarium.

At the coral reef exhibit

LOVE THIS LITTLE BOY!!!!!!!!!  EAT HIM UP!  YUM!!!!!!!!

I think this is my favorite picture!  This exhibit is HUGE.  We were only able to get a small portion of it in the picture.  It holds 6.3 million gallons of water and thousands of fish, including 4 whale sharks and 4 manta rays.  It was impressive!  We spent a good deal of time here and Luke was mesmerized with the huge fish swimming by him.

We can't wait to bring Luke back when he's older and can remember and understand more!  After our great trip to the aquarium, Dad surprised us with dinner at Olive Garden.  Woo hoo!

Sissy made Luke a triple layer chocolate cake!

We don't have the concept of blowing yet, so Mom had to help.  Luke was more interested in grabbing that pretty flame!

He wasted no time digging in to that cake!

It was a messy affair indeed!

This is Luke's buddy Nate.  As you can see, Nate is suffering from a case of the chicken pox.  Nate came with his mommy and daddy to eat some pizza and birthday cake with us.  Luke was playing with Nate last Sunday at church just before Nate broke out the next day, so he was already exposed.  I suspect that in another week to ten days, I'll be posting some pictures of a spotted Lukey.